If I could point to one factor that has had the most transformative, enlightening and empowering influence on my life, it would be Mindfulness...Really Paying Attention.
When we pay more attention to our thoughts, feelings and impressions, we begin to feel their ebb and flow as one moment's thoughts fade into the next moment's thoughts, as transient as foam on the waves, and we don't even think them. They are the mind's chatter, and if allowed to, they distract us from the truth within.
You might think of mindfulness as an Eastern concept, associated with certain kinds of meditation and Buddhist practices, but it is much more than that. Mindfulness is an attitude to life, found among people of all cultures, societies and spiritual traditions.
Mindfulness is simply the practice of paying attention, of fully attending to your environment, to others, to your experience, thoughts, feelings, sensations, and your responses to them.
Whenever you stop thinking, forming opinions, making judgements, interpreting, analysing or reacting to your environment and simply let yourself notice what is - without thinking about it - you are practicing mindfulness. Anyone can do it, any time, anywhere.
In fact, you probably do it a lot more than you think: when you are lost in admiration of a painting, a face or whatever; when you surrender to the sensations of sea water on your skin; when you allow yourself to fully experience your emotions without censoring or judging; when your creativity is flowing without effort....
Mindfulness is letting go of thought and simply observing what IS...the beauty of fallen Jacaranda blooms, the softness of a grandmother's hand, the inner experience of THIS moment.
What are the Benefits of Mindfulness? Here are a few that I have experienced for myself:
More Loving, Respectful, Honest Relationships - Attending (mindfulness) is one of the keys to emotional intelligence, the intelligence that allows us to relate positively, purposefully and constructively to others. When we pay attention, we pick up clues to how we and others really feel, what we really want, and how we might best relate to them.
I used to be considered quite a tactless person, and years ago, was surprised to have one group of students tell me I was intimidating. Intimidating? Me? Why, I was miss Congeniality herself. But when I began really attending, watching, listening, being mindful, I realised that I took an awful lot for granted. For example, I assumed that others saw me as I saw me; that because I was forthright, my intentions were clear to others; that if others did not understand me, they'd say so and I could explain...that sort of thing. And I also discovered, much to my embarrassment, that I was often insensitive, brusque and ...well, self-absorbed.
By listening and observing more, without rushing into judgement or assumptions, I have become a much better person: kinder, more compassionate, understanding and patient. And this is really important...I find it easier to love and care about others, even strangers.
Increasing Self-Awareness - We think we know ourselves so well, but the truth is that most of us are woefully blind to who we really are, how we act in the world, and how we affect those around us. We have built up so many different stories about ourselves - me, the child; me, the victim; me, the wife, the mother, the grandmother, the student, the writer, the woman, the different me's that others say I am - that we no longer know what we really think, how we really feel, who we really are.
Through mindfulness, we can connect to that steady, stable, real self beneath all the stories, beneath all the beliefs, conditioning and judgements. As we observe the chaos of our own thoughts and feelings, how they change from day to day, from minute to minute, how quickly and automatically we react to them, we learn that We Are Not This. We learn to distinguish between the changing, transitory "I's" of our personality and the constant, steady "I AM" of the true self.
With this deeper understanding of self, we can become more truthful about our beliefs, values and feelings; we can live more genuine lives. More vulnerable, yes, but also much stronger, and, I have discovered, so firmly grounded in peace and acceptance that we can more easily ride the ups and downs of everyday life.
Spiritual Awakening and Growth - I'm not talking about becoming enlightened, though you might. But you can become more awake, conscious of a much greater reality than can be known by thought or through the senses.
Mindfulness (attending) is one of the fundamental requirements of spiritual growth. Paying attention to what IS - just observing without thinking - increases your awareness, enabling you to see things more clearly as they really are, without all those distorting judgments, expectations and opinions.
A major aspect of mindfulness is observing our emotions.
Our emotions are portals to our inner reality, and if we take time to observe them, to experience them fully without fear or restriction, our emotions can take us deep into our core beliefs, the beleifs that underly our view of the world and influence our responses to it.
Being mindful of our emotions, we learn that they are not to be feared or judged, for they reflect to us our selves: both those aspects of self that we have denied, hidden away or repressed, and the deeper self which knows everything we have ever experienced, including our purpose for coming into this life, and can draw on the profound wisdom of spirit to guide us.
More than any sacred or religious texts, Mindfulness is the path to truth. No wonder it is a part of every spiritual tradition. By attending to our inner experience, we connect with the true nature of reality, with the deeper truths of the Cosmos, and with this knowledge, we grow and evolve.
I don't think I exaggerate when I say, If you are not mindful, you will not evolve any further than you are now, no matter what else changes. It is THAT important.
Attending grounds us firmly in the NOW - They say that the mind cannot focus on two things at the same time. Perhaps, perhaps not. But for sure, it cannot be in two times simultaneously. Most of us are usually thinking about the past (what happened or what you thought happened, and how you feel about it) or the future (what we want or don't want, and anticipate or worry about). Yet the only place we can ever be is in the present, the present moment, and that is our only moment of power: not before, not later but right now....and in every NOW that we inhabit.
To the half-awake mind, Now is just a passing moment, but to the awakened mind, the mind that is aware and watching, the moment of Now expands into a timeless now. And in this expanded moment, as deep and spacious as the space between breaths, we can reflect on what's happening within and by refocusing our thoughts, initiate the changes that we want to materialise in our lives.
Enter fully into the Moment through mindfulness, and eventually you realise that it contains the whole cosmos, and the larger reality in which it exists. You are no longer like Gagandewa, the maiden of Melanesian myth who fails to notice the signs of the invisible world, and goes to her doom. Instead, with opened eyes, you recognise the signs along the way, the inner cues and outer synchronicities that tell you, The universe is listening and responding.
Mindfulness strengthens the Energy Body - When we pay more attention to what's happening within us, we also strengthen our energetic connections, both within us and with the energy and information that continually flows to us from the cosmos.
This has very important effects both on our whole energy body and on the strength of our soul. The stronger our energy or light body, the stronger our individual being, both during life and after death.
If our energy or light body is weak, our being is weak, and is easily pulled into others' energy patterns. Eventually, if we continue to remain psychically weak and ineffective, we become like those fairytale mermaids, who on death became nothing but foam on the sea. We do not have enough light to continue, and are dissolved back into the divine.
How to be More Mindful
Meditation is one of the main way to develop mindfulness, so I've given links to two really good videos. They're of workshops for Google staff (Gotta admire a company that does that for its people!)
One is by Jon Kabat-Zinn, who has done more than anyone else to get medical institutions to recognise the enormous health benefits of Mindfulness practice:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc
The other is by molecular geneticist and long-time Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard, scientific advisor to the Dalai Lama:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_30JzRGDHI&feature=relmfu
Mindfulness as daily practice
Meditation will only take you as far as you are willing to apply the skills to daily life. The greatest rewards come from practicing mindfulness as often possible, whenever you remember.
It's especially helpful when things don't seem to be going well. Stop, count slowly to five or ten, take three deep breaths and relax yourself, and just pay attention to what's going on inside you: your feelings and thoughts. Notice them as they flow and change, and notice how they are tied to each other. Then turn your attention to your heart, and breath in it.
Do it whenever you can stop for a moment, even while waiting in a queue. You don't have to be aware of everything, just one thing at a time. You might choose to focus on different things (body sensations, feelings, thoughts, sounds outside, how the sun feels on your skin etc) at different times, if that suits you better.
It doesn't really matter HOW you do it, just that you do it as often as you can. Make it part of your daily practice until it becomes a habit. It's especially helpful to be mindful when you are about to face a problem, or interact with someone, to sense how you really feel and what thoughts are in your head.
The more I practice being mindful, the more I gain from it. Mindfulness IS important. It affects us in very significant ways - emotionally, in our relationships, physiologically, and spiritually, as beings of light. Yet being mindful, being attentive, takes nothing but intention and a little extra time.
So start being more Mindful, paying attention to what's happening RIGHT NOW. OK?
peace and light,
Tosca Z
